Newsletter #84

On Fertility

A difficult subject with many dimensions.

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Too Important Not to Tackle

Rebekah Zuniga, a friend and church member, recently published an interesting article over at the Helwys Society Forum. The subject is a challenging one: fertility.

Many readers will know some of the difficulties my wife and I have experienced in that area. I won’t rehearse them all here, but it was a long and discouraging road. Men and women experience infertility differently. We must also say that they also experience their own infertility differently. Whether it be them or their spouse, both parties or unknown, married people facing infertility feel a pain difficult to express.

I’m currently writing an article on this subject for another publication, so I intend to reserve some of my cannon fodder for that. Here I’ll simply reflect briefly on this topic, with special reference to Zuniga’s article.

Context Counts

In it she discusses and qualifies the concept of “quiverfull families,” families for whom their application of “Be fruitful and multiply” and Psalm 127 (which portrays children as arrows) entails having as many children as possible.

Some years ago I found this argument reasonably compelling, if not altogether convincing. However, one need only engage in some theological and prudential reasoning to see some of the many flaws in this way of thinking. (David VanDrunen’s Bioethics and the Christian Life has a helpful section that deals with this issue.) In other words, you don’t have to experience complications in bearing children to start to see where the affirmations of fertility and family life must be understood and applied within a context—both the context of Scripture as well as one’s own situation.

First Corinthians 7 is just one of many passages which should disabuse Christians of the idea that family life is a good to be pursued at any and all costs. The apostle Paul regards his singleness—and therefore, childlessness—as a condition that renders him more available for ministry. In no way does this repudiate Genesis 1-2, Psalm 127, or the many other passages which extol marriage and childrearing. Instead, it puts them within the larger context of history, which is moving closer and closer to a time when no one will be married nor given in marriage to another (cf. Mt. 22). This would preclude the experience of parenthood as well.

Nevertheless, we can and must affirm the goodness of the family, provided we understand its purpose, possibilities, and limits.

In her article, Rebekah both affirms the basic impulse behind “quiverfull families,” while trying to disentangle it from its “Duggar-esque” connotations and applications. (See the article if you want to grasp that reference.) In her words:

Quiverfull families easily fascinate the larger culture—including the wider culture of Christianity—because of how out-of-step their convictions are with modern cultural norms (in first-world countries, at least). Birth control has become so ubiquitous that the attitude it engenders is assumed rather than consciously chosen: children should come only by express invitation, in our own timing . . . and not too many!

No doubt she puts her finger on an all-too-inconvenient truth: we want everything on our terms and our timing. However, instead of simply being analytical (or critical), Zuniga positively offers a helpful perspective: seeing fertility through the lens of stewardship and generosity.

This lens will require a theological perspective on children, not merely a sentimental one. As she says, “In order to approach fertility with a stewardship mentality, we must view fertility as a treasure and not a problem. Scripture explicitly teaches that children are a gift and blessing. The sheer existence of children is glorifying to God since they multiply His image on the earth.”

Well said. This perspective isn’t revolutionary for anyone who takes all of Scripture seriously. But given all the “-isms” (individualism, consumerism, etc.) that so shape and condition our views on everything, including family, these biblical truths need to be stated and restated again and again for each generation of parents, grandparents, and would-be parents. The stewardship and generosity lens are appropriate for everything in life but aiming them toward family life is a refreshing and necessary move.

Don’t Normalize Abnormal

I’ll add a second dimension to this discussion that Zuniga touches on, though it isn’t her focus. There’s a tendency in contemporary society to re-narrate (by way of language games) anything and everything that implies some kind of intended or fixed order. We typically think of gender these days, but it’s prevalent across the board. One of my favorite examples is “other-abled” instead of “disabled.” I know more than one “other-abled” person who is insulted by not describing their situation as undesirable, or not the way it ought to be. Yet in an attempt to be politically correct (often in the guise of sensitivity and kindness) we refuse to face an uncomfortable truth: something here is disordered.

In the arena of fertility, we have to develop the twin-capacities of (1) affirming the reality of infertility with sensitivity, care, and concern, and (2) continuing to affirm the goodness and normativity of fertility. Indeed, it only makes sense to lament one’s infertility if you’ve already assumed that fertility is normal and desirable! Perhaps because it’s too primal of a thing, but I’ve not yet seen too many try to celebrate infertility as a good thing, though I’m sure outliers exist.

I applaud the willingness to tackle this topic. Hopefully our churches will do more to embrace these tough topics with biblical clarity, conviction, and compassion.

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Follow-Up

In Newsletter #77 I wrote about the value of brevity. As I recently read Jon Meacham’s excellent book about Abraham Lincoln, I was reminded of a wonderful illustration of this principle which I first discovered years ago. Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address is 272 words long and took approximately two minutes to deliver. Edward Everett spoke immediately before Lincoln, giving a two-hour address. Now I’m not saying the Gettysburg Address isn’t itself a beautiful speech, but we must wonder if those who first heard it liked it better simply due to its merciful length!

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Currently Reading:

Tara Isabella Burton, Strange Rites: New Religions for a Godless World.

Michael Wittmer, ed. Four Views on Heaven.

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Quote of the Week:

…when it comes to eschatology, the Christian Scriptures teach the three Rs: the Return of Christ, the Resurrection of the body, and the Restoration of all things. Praise God that our loved ones who died in Christ are now ‘with the Lord’ (2 Cor. 5:8), but they apparently have not yet received all that God has promised them. They are still waiting for their resurrection bodies that they will receive when Jesus returns to this earth (1 Thess. 4:16). Like a wise parent who only allows her children to open their stockings on Christmas Eve, so our Father does not give us every gift we have coming the moment we die.

Michael Wittmer, ed. Four Views on Heaven.

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On My Mind: The Temperature

I realize that climate science is a very complicated and controversial subject. I’m certainly not a hardliner in either direction on it. I suppose what I wonder about the most is this: What would it take for hardliners on the left to admit when dire predictions are, shall we say, too dire? Moreover, when their solutions are too draconian, likely worse than the problem they seek to ameliorate? And what would it take for hardliners on the right to admit that yes, the activity of human beings does have a significant bearing on the condition of the earth? And concerns over the natural order are the proper domain of conservativism?