With mid-term elections looming, it’s a good time for serious believers to start praying for suitable presidential candidates for 2024. After all, if all the media coverage will be about that following the election, and if many prospective candidates decide whether to run based on the outcome of the mid-terms, why not get serious about praying now for some decent options?
Awkward!
It’s that time again: Pastor Appreciation Month. It’s one of those times of the years when no small number of pastors feel a collective sense of awkwardness and even tension. I dare not claim all pastors feel this way. I’m sure some look forward to many generous and thoughtful gestures from the congregation. I certainly have enjoyed my fair share of these, for which I remain forever grateful. But I would be lying if I said I don’t share in the awkward tension that this month brings.
First, many pastors (for various reasons) have an instinctive suspicion toward bringing non-religious, recently invented holidays into the sphere of the church’s worship and life. Think of Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Independence Day, Veterans’ Day, and the like. It’s not that pastors don’t feel that there can be practical ways of “sanctifying” these cultural and national occasions. There is enough biblical teaching on the family and country to provide a basic framework for giving deliberate attention to those themes around these dates on the calendar. But many principled pastors never want to allow the cultural messaging on holidays to swallow up the proper Christian message.
Second, Pastor Appreciation Month seems especially suspect when it comes to the standard of being “long-standing” and “rooted uniquely in Scripture and tradition.” For example, the best information I’ve located suggests that this month has its genesis in “Clergy Appreciation Day,” an invention of Hallmark in 1992. It should be easy enough to see why people concerned over commercial interests in religious affairs wouldn’t wave the pom-poms over Pastor Appreciation Month on this count alone.
Third, most pastors function as the administrative leaders of their churches. Practically, this means that every special event or gathering somehow ends up crossing their desk in one form or another. Putting aside the question of what the limits of their involvement in everything should be (and there should be some!), this means that pastors (1) want to ensure things are done well, and (2) want to “play along” with the desires of the laity. On the second point, if something is intended to be a surprise, but you as a pastor inadvertently learn that something is underway, should you just act surprised? Or how do you, in the midst of a busy week, shift from serving to being served?
This leads to the fourth and most important dynamic or tension. Pastors struggle with receiving good things from others in much the same as others—and differently in other senses. This requires a little unpacking.
On the one hand, I generally think it’s true that all people—Christians included—struggle with grace. The idea of receiving something unexpected and especially generous makes us feel indebted to others. It creates vulnerability. It catches us off guard. Many other spiritual and emotional elements figure into this, but I think most of us understand. To have folks “celebrate you” or “appreciate you,” making you the focus of attention in a public setting, isn’t something most of us naturally welcome.
On the other hand, pastors spend most of their days and weeks thinking primarily about what they are doing or want to do for others. They try to practice the maxim of “leading through serving,” even if leadership is certainly more than menial tasks. They want to model the way of Philippians 2, especially knowing how central this is to effective teaching and preaching (cf. 1 Timothy 4:6-16). So, to switch gears, sometimes throughout an entire month, and be on the receiving end of so many acts of generosity and service, isn’t a place pastors are comfortable inhabiting.
But Biblical
All of these concerns being stated, pastors have the delicate but specific task of fostering a culture of appreciation in their churches, which would inevitably include appreciation for the pastor(s).
The simple truth is that appreciating and showing honor and tangible generosity to one’s teachers and leaders is biblical. Here are just a few of the many New Testament references to this truth:
“We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves.” (1 Thessalonians 5:12-13)
“Let the one who is taught the word share all good things with the one who teaches.” (Galatians 6:6)
“Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.” (Romans 13:7)
“Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching. For the Scripture says, ‘You shall not muzzle an ox when it treads out the grain,’ and, ‘The laborer deserves his wages’.” (1 Timothy 5:17-18)
Now consider, who would most often and publicly instruct the congregation from these texts? Pastors! Like it or not, they find themselves in the unenviable position of teaching and preaching on how the church sees and treats their pastors. If not pastors, who?
Too often pastors have languished in their work due to poor treatment, little support, undue criticism, and low compensation. Let me hasten to say that this has largely not been my experience. Indeed, I must restrain myself from turning this newsletter into a digression on “Grace Free Will Baptist Church Appreciation Month.” While the early years were especially difficult, I have been supported and loved by my flock. Nevertheless, I cannot turn a blind eye or deaf ear to the countless horror stories I’ve heard and still hear about what is happening in churches across the nation.
We have a tension, then. The same pastors who, in many cases, may be struggling because of the treatment they are receiving are being told by this “young fella” that they need to assume responsibility for teaching on the office of pastor. Yes and no. Yes, pastors are chiefly responsible to teach the Word, which unavoidably includes this topic. However, let me say that pastors aren’t the only ones who shoulder the responsibility for this.
First, when churches are properly plugged into denominational life, they begin to become more aware of what other healthy churches are doing to show love and appreciation for their pastor and his family. This has a way of creating a “Why not us? effect.” There are laymen who take initiative when they spot a notice, article, or even Facebook post that speaks of Pastor Appreciation Month. Also, faithful state leaders have opportunities to remind laymen to ensure they’re mindful of this need.
Second, there exists in most congregations some kind of institutional memory where such recognition and gestures have happened in the past. In other words, most churches aren’t starting from scratch when it comes to taking it upon themselves to plan something for their pastor.
Third, a healthy Diaconal ministry will provide leadership and logistical support for planning and executing pastor appreciation activities. They probably see the depth and burden of the pastor’s work more closely than most congregants, so they naturally feel the need to ensure this doesn’t go unnoticed.
Fourth, good Sunday School teachers who follow some kind of curriculum will almost certainly come to biblical passages like those above. This gives a reasonable basis for them to call attention to practical ways members can love, support, and show kindness to their pastor and his family throughout the year, not just one day or month out of the year.
Just Be Intentional
Ultimately, most pastors I know feel the way mothers feel about Mother’s Day and fathers feel about Father’s Day. Is my work only noticed and worth acknowledgment just one day a year?
Clearly there is a division of labor issue with all human undertakings. There’s a reason we set aside certain days, weeks, months, or seasons for various purposes. It’s impossible to attend to everything we value equally all the time. Nevertheless, when it comes to people who play an outsized role in our lives personally, professionally, and in the civil realm, it makes sense for gratitude to become a way of life.
Should churches have a dedicated time to acknowledge faithful service? I think for most churches this is appropriate and it’s certainly achievable. Is it also true that this might look different for pastors with different levels of tenure? And for pastors who have dedicated spouses? For pastors who may have different needs at different seasons of life? Yes, yes, and yes.
And is it also true that biblical mandates to honor fathers, mothers, the elderly, and church leaders shouldn’t be limited to one day, week, or month out of the year? Absolutely. But we all have to start somewhere.
So then, pastors, let people love you. Be a gracious receiver of others’ kindness. And don’t be embarrassed about preaching on this topic. You don’t have to talk just about yourself when you do. Use examples of pastors from your own life and how they impacted you.
Church members, remember the many burdens your pastor carries—the ones you know about and don’t know about. Remember that if he’s serving faithfully, he isn’t doing it for selfish gain. Yet he has needs, and one of those is the need to know that God is using him in your life. Let him know about it.
God, thank you for the many godly pastors who’ve been a part of my life in the past, and those in my life now. Help me to be sure to let them regularly know the difference they’re making. And help my life to be an example of what it means to show generosity and receive generosity.
Currently Reading:
James M. Olson, Fair Play: The Moral Dilemmas of Spying
Quote of the Week:
There are any number of arguments to be made against procreation, like that babies accelerate us to an environmental doomsday by using up our finite resources now and filling our landfills with diapers that take centuries to break down. But those arguing for protecting the Earth by not making babies are just existing on Earth, not living in it.